Will I ever get this right?

Well, today was a pretty crazy one! All but one student were present, & I now have 28 students, total. In other words, it's a party house. haha. Anyway, the morning was a little rough seeing as I didn't thoroughly plan out my math lesson enough last night; but it was my birthday......can't someone get a little break on their bday? My facilitators don't seem to think so; needless to say, they were pretty disappointed with today's math lesson (which was mostly review anyway.)
When I went to get the kids from afternoon recess, one of my boys sneezed on the boy in front of him & that young man turned around & punched the boy who'd sneezed right in the eye. Of course, the boy who got punched retaliated, & I had to march them both to the office, meanwhile lecturing them on the fact that violence is never the answer.
One of my facilitators, Pat, left me some more notes in our "communication journal" if you will; the kids have really been taking advantage of the bathroom & drinking policy. I'm not typically a mean-spirited person, but it does get rather annoying when you allow them to drink water & go to the bathroom after recess, & then when you're sitting on the carpet to read 30 minutes later, suddenly everyone needs to go & it's an emergency. It can be a real distraction when that many people insist on going during class; Pat & I are going to address this with a new "system" tomorrow. I'll keep everyone updated on how that goes!
At the end of the day today I was talking to my CFA Joanne (don't ask me what CFA stands for, I honestly couldn't tell you!) & just saying I feel like the biggest key to my success this year will be learning patience with myself. I'm pretty patient with the kids in general, I feel. ....& even that will come more with time, I'm sure.

The First Few Days of School!

Back-to-School-Night: (Tuesday) Well,one of my facilitators had this cute idea to put up charts around the room about parents' experiences in 4th grade, or more specific questions about the students. Most of the parents that came in that night said, "Did I even read in 4th grade? If I did, I don't remember anything!" Things continued to go well when I asked one mother who her daughter was. He had really long hair, ok? (Longer than mine or Sar's!) He has a girly name too; how was I to know?

Then there was meeting a young boy's mother, who proceeded to tell me about all of the ADHD manifest behaviors I would probably be witnessing in the classroom throughout the school year (i.e. destroying erasers & pencils, throwing objects, etc.) The only consolation she really gave is that I would really be able to tell when he wasn't taking his medicine. Great!

One student came up to me and politely asked if he could just call me "Ms. B" instead of having to say "Ms. Bauserman" (which all the students have taken to now) & I assured him he could. He then proceeded to tell me that he appreciated the Jimmer poster in the class library, because he liked BYU basketball better, but Ute football better. I told him we would mostly get along then!

THE FIRST DAY:

tIt all started bright & early at 7 a.m. (worked on putting the class “mascots” above the tables; I chose an "Under-the-Sea" theme, so there are seahorses, seashells, starfish, & other types of fish.) Really fun!

&ltThe fun part began when parents who were unable to make it to Back-to-School Night started showing up minutes before (and after) the bell had run. Upon seeing me come out of the classroom to greet them, one student's mom commented on how schoolteachers keep getting younger & younger every year. I assured her I was younger than I looked, & that I was going to be 24 next week.

Then, in the midst of that craziness and running off copies for the day, I had 2 new students added to my class. One of them had a concerned mother, who wanted to discuss her child's learning disabilities at length, when I was supposed to be starting class. So, you know what that means....I was throwing together materials for them, writing out name tags & setting up their desks, lickety-split! It was already time to be discussing class rules & procedures.

<!--[if !supportLists]-->· To add to the excitement, one student got very sick to her stomach (she went pale in the face & her little body was very hot all of the sudden). So, during the math curses exercise for the morning, I had to walk her halfway down to the office & have the school counselor go in & watch my class for me. She said she couldn’t walk once we had gotten most of the way down the stairs. The school nurse’s diagnosis: 1^st day nerves. Pobrecita!

<!--[if !supportLists]-->· II was somewhat little strict for the first day; one student moved his clip 4 times for “talking” & at least 8 students had to sign their cards for talking while I was talking (but it’s a brand new school year & they just learned the rules today!!!) My facilitators had both made me feel like I had to be mean & consistent though….they said not to worry about being too friendly with the students at the beginning L Anyone who knows me know this is absolutely contrary to my nature anyway!

<!--[if !supportLists]-->·ye Unfortunately the first day didn't go as well as I'd thought (at least according to one of my facilitators who came to observe me for the last hour.) She talked about how chaotic my classroom seemed to be & that I was doing a lot of shushing; part of that is because she kept interrupting me when I was in the middle of instructing or helping students, & then the kids would start talking to one another because they had nothing else to do. Those who look for negative will find it though! Needless to say I was pretty upset & disappointed with how things had gone, once I started talking to her. I’d thought more had gone well, but she didn’t mention it

<!--[if !supportLists]-->· My other facilitator had the cute idea to keep a diary of my experiences; I write to her & she writes to me each day she's there. The first journal entry to me (after observing me this morning): “There are always new students coming in the first few days—fun huh? Lucky you!"26 students later......

8/26/11

When I announced the United Day of Caring this morning in class, a student raised his hand as he simultaneously yelled aloud, “I’m a member of the church that’s doing that thing.” Soon other kids piped up and mentioned they were also members of the LDS church; I tried to gently steer the conversation back to the importance of school rules, while keeping a neutral position on the matter. As I was about to start the instruction on multiplication for the day, one student yelled out, “Well, I’m not really a member, but I go there so they give me stuff.” I tried to quickly change the subject after his outburst; I should think my reasoning there doesn't need an explanation.

At lunch today, I sat with my students, since Friday is the responsibility of the individual teachers to watch the students, apparently. (Remember, I'm learning as I go!) One of the cute Hispanic students in my class, allowed me to sit down next to her. I noticed her cautiously watching me out of the corner of my eye as she popped chips into her mouth. As I turned to acknowledge her, she said quickly, "I just got one question." I raised my eyebrows to acknowledge her. She said "Are you Mexican?" I stifled a laugh, but wasn't successful at hiding the smile. I said to her that I wasn't, but that I really loved the Hispanic culture & language, so I could pretend to be, sometimes. That seemed a satisfactory answer, as I heard nothing else from her during the lunch period!

Unfortunately, after lunch wasn't so pleasant; one young lady refused to sit with the class at lunch, & when I asked her if she was ok, she just shrugged me off. When we began our shared reading activity & it was her turn to read-aloud at her table, she closed her book & put it down. One of the students at her table informed me that she refused to read & that they couldn't go on until she would read that page. I knelt down beside the girl's desk, & noticed a big crocodile tear gathering in one eye; when I whispered in her ear to see if she was ok, she didn't respond. Then I asked if she'd like to come visit my desk & chat with me a moment. She shook her head. I could see she was struggling with something, & I knew somewhat about her background, which was what was probably troubling her. I cannot imagine what it would be like to come to school & try to engage in scholastic activity all day, when things aren't right at home; that is one of the biggest challenges of working in this "urban area" of Salt Lake, where there are many homeless and refugee students that attend our school. I truly feel for them & cannot imagine what that is like for them. But I want to love them, believe in them, & set high expectations for them so that they can be successful! All anyone ever needs is someone to believe in them.

I can't wait to go back tomorrow & start my first whole week! These kids are great! I love them!